Deleted Scene #1: From Chapter 9 of Violet Prelude

  • by

Originally posted to Patreon on September 14, 2019

Pacing has been an issue as of late. I keep trying to speed things along unnecessarily so I can meet the deadline of a 2019 conclusion for the Prelude. I have no doubt I’ll get there, but I need to stop rushing it The excerpt bellow severely rushed the plot along to a detrimental degree so it was removed.
The original idea behind it was to express how differently time passes between Earth and the Void, but how far ahead that time jumped made little to no sense with the pace of the story. I contemplated keeping it and doing a Pulp Fiction thing with a mess up time line, but I really don’t think that would work very well in writing. Perhaps I’ll attempt some convoluted time manipulation in the future, but it was ill suited and ill timed at this point in the story.
So without further ado, here’s a deleted scene from Entry #9, Across the Universe. I wouldn’t even consider it a spoiler at this point even thought it alludes to a future event as the event will likely not happen anything like this when the time arrives.
Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~
Just as everything seemed to be calming down, a loud, blinding blast sent everyone to the floor.
“DANIEL!” Jeron bellowed over the deep, hair-raising sound of something resembling a cacophony of blaring horns. Moving as quickly as he could, he threw himself over the boy, holding him tightly as what remained of the ceiling above them collapsed.
Even after the initial blast past, the vibrations of the sound alone shook rubble and debris from all around them. It seemed to last forever before a deathly silence finally took over.
Jeron panicked a moment when he tried to get up only to find something held him down. Tentacles covered his body. In a fit of welling fear, he found he was able to turn his head just enough to see Quip lying in front of him. He nodded to the creature who slowly withdrew his tendrils.
“You okay?” Jeron choked as he tried to push the fallen laminate off himself.
“Y-yeah…” Daniel could barely speak as dust filled his lungs. “Your dad didn’t use asbestos to build this place did he?”
Jeron shrugged as he slowly got to his feet. He offered Daniel a hand, which the boy gladly took.
“What was that?”
“I don’t…” Jeron began but was quickly interrupted by a loud shrieking sound being met with a terribly guttural roar.
“Dad…”
Jeron glanced at the boy.
“It has to be!”
The terrifying back and forth echoed in the distance. Things slamming and groaning. Metal bending. Bursts of light. A pillar of brilliant yellow light shot through the Mist. The overwhelming scent of petrichor filled the air. Silence once more fell upon the ruined town of La Sombra.
“Jeron! Dad! He… He’s back!”
“You really think that was him?”
The boy nodded sternly, “I’m sure of it. Dad’s finally home.”
 
/end DeletedScene.txt

Leave a Reply