A Girl and Her Blob

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“Hey there, beautiful.”

A man slid up the bar to her side. Raven-black, waist-length hair, perfect, clean-lined make-up, skin-tight red dress. She knew she was beautiful and she didn’t need some random drunkard to tell her so. Rolling her eyes, she finished her glass.

“I have a boyfriend.”

“Oh you do, do you?” the man looked around, “Where he at? Leaving such a beautiful woman all by herself. Must be a real catch…”

Shaking her head, she stepped away from the bar.

“Hey now,” he put a hand on her shoulder, “Come on. Gimme a chance.”

“I’m really not interested,” she shrugged his hand off.

“Then why are you here?” he stepped in front of her, “If you’re not here to hook up…”

“I told you. I have a boyfriend.”

The man scoffed. “I know that trick. That’s fucking childish, you know that right?”

“You know what’s childish?” she stepped up in his face, “Not taking no for an answer. Get away from me.” She shoved him out of her way before sitting at a table with a few other people.

The man scowled at her before returning to mingle in the crowd.

She spent the rest of the night in good company. Drinking, laughing, a little singing and a bit of dancing. As far as she could tell, the man had given up, but that didn’t mean she’d let her guard down. Throughout the night, if she left her drink anywhere she wasn’t, she poured a bit into her purse. Just in case. If there was no response, she knew it was safe to drink. She only ran into a few issues early on and was quick to dispose of the tainted liquid. After that, it truly seemed like the asshole had moved on. Part of her worried for his next target, but she couldn’t save everyone, could she?

“Get away from me!”

The sound of another woman yelling rose above the crowd. Lo and behold, there he was. Mr. Asshat, pinning another girl to a wall. His hands pressed firmly against the surface on either side of her head. He kept leaning in, trying to connect with her lips. She kept turning away and trying to duck under his arms, but he wouldn’t let her go. Finally, a bouncer got involved and removed the man from the club entirely.

With a sigh of relief, she returned to her drink while the other girl in question asked the bartender to call her a cab.

“Hey,” she approached the girl at the bar, “Here’s my number. Text me when you get home.”

The girl looked at her, confused.

“Just in case. In fact, if you want, call me as soon as you get outside. Just stay on the line until you get home.”

The girl was nearly in tears.

“I don’t even know you…” she choked.

“My name’s May. Just ring me up and stay on the line until you get inside your place, okay?”

The girl nodded and, without another word, added the number to her phone.

“Thank you,” she breathed.

“Just gotta look out for each other, ya know?”

With a smile, the girl returned to her last drink of the evening.

May smiled as she made her way back to her table.

“May, May, May,” one of her companions sighed, “Always the do-gooder.”

“Hey,” she shrugged, “Someone has to be.”

Her friends shook their heads and finished off their drinks.

“We should probably be calling a ride of our own,” one of them spoke up.

“Lemme just wait until this chick gets home,” May replied.

“Girl, we don’t know where she lives or how long that could take!”

“Just hang out a bit, okay?”

May looked up to find the girl had left the building. Sure enough, her phone rang.

“H-Hello? I-is this, M-May?”

“It is. You sound upset. What’s wrong?”

“Th-there’s this guy… H-he’s…”

“Was it the asshole who was fucking with you?”


“Get in your ride and get out.”

“H-he keeps saying he’s with me…”

Sure enough, May could hear the belligerent asshole barking in the background.

“He’s telling the driver to leave and blocking the door…”

“I’ll be right there. Stay on the phone.”



“I-I’m talking to my sister. She’s coming to get me…”

“Should I leave then?” the driver spoke through an open window.

“No, please no. Not yet…”

“HEY!” May stepped outside, beet red with rage, “Get the FUCK away from her!”

“Oh it’s you. ‘Ms. I-have-a-boyfriend’ who’d rather LIE than talk to me.”

“I wouldn’t have had to lie if you had just left me the fuck alone.”

“Oh fuck you, bitch!” he stepped away from the car.

The girl immediately got in and told the driver to leave.

“FUCK YOU!” he screamed as the car pulled away. “And fuck you, too!” he bellowed at May, “You know what?” he stormed up to her and grasped her shoulders, “I just wanted to talk. You fucking bitch. You fucking pretentious BITCH!”

He pulled her aside, away from any windows in the club.

“You think you’re better than me, don’t you?” he yanked on her high ponytail. “Well you’re not. You’re just a lying, cheating, stupid BITCH!” he dragged her away from the club and down a side alley.

May didn’t flinch. She didn’t fight back. She did absolutely nothing.

“Not gonna fight back? Not even a little?” he gripped her chin, “Kind of disappointing.”

She reached into her purse before he ripped it off her shoulder.

“Nice try,” he spat on her face, “No mace no nothing.”

He shook her against the brick wall, forcing her to drop her phone. She still gave no real reaction. She just stared at him.

“Do something bitch! Cry! Scream! Fucking SOMETHING!”

She did nothing but smile.

Suddenly, a strangely warm sensation wrapped itself around his feet. He looked down to find he was standing in a viscous fluid. Following its trail, he found it was seeping from her purse.

“What the fuck is this shit?!” he tried to step out of it, but the more he pulled away, the further up his legs it climbed.

“I told you,” she chuckled, “I have a boyfriend.”

A tingling sensation soon replaced the viscous warmth. Whatever it was, no amount of flailing could get it off. He huffed and puffed and cried ever so slightly as each and every one of his struggles only advanced the slime’s coating of his body.

“What the fuck?! What the FUCK?!”

He continued to curse and flail eventually sending himself to the ground. He squirmed and kicked with all his might but it was all to no avail. Screams burst from his lungs, but they didn’t last long as the sludge fully encased his body.

From head to toe, he was covered completely in the stuff. Muffled screams could barely be heard as his lungs began filling with the substance. His flesh was on fire. He continued to flail even though all hope was lost. The goo held him in its slimy grip as it slowly broke him down. Soon there was nothing but weak sobs followed by silence. It rested there, undulating over his still body. It rippled and squelched as it worked its fluids over what was once a living human being. Once it was satisfied with its work, the undulations became more violent. It squeezed into itself over and over. Little by little the body began to give way, curling up inside of the voluptuous blob. It squeezed tighter and tighter, forcing its prey to fold into itself. The shape of a body could still be seen pressed against its outer skin. It continued to burble and ripple across its meal, softening it up more and more. Eroding its very form away. Squeezing it until the mass finally gave way. A series of snaps and pops signified the surrender of flesh to the blob’s ravening caress. With the body sufficiently reduced to sludge, the thing sloshed into a pleasantly round shape. It continued to ripple and burble around its contents, but for the most part, the hardest work had been done. It rested on the pavement, slowly rocking back and forth as it worked over its contents.

May knelt down beside it.

“You’re too good to me,” she smiled as she slowly rubbed its smooth surface, “How was that?”

It burbled pleasantly in response.

“I told you you’d get to eat tonight,” she chuckled.

It swayed a bit in reply, shaking its thick, murky contents as it did.

“Good boy,” she rested her head on its gelatinous form. “Always keeping me safe.” She wrapped her arms around it. “I love you so much,” she whispered.

It groaned loudly as if in approval.

She squeezed it a bit before sitting up.

“Well,” she sighed, “You’re too big for my party bag now,” she chuckled, “Fifth world problems, am I right?”

It burbled and jiggled.

“But that’s okay. I can wait,” she breathed as he pulled the blob into her lap, “We can wait. Who knows, maybe you’ll get to eat again.”

May held it tightly against herself as it gurgled and groaned, breaking down its alcohol-soaked meal. She sighed deeply half wishing she was home right now rather than sitting in some dank alleyway. Regardless, it had been a good evening.

Her phone buzzed on the ground beside her. It was one of her friends calling her.

“Hey!” she answered cheerily, “I’m fine. Don’t worry. I ended up meeting someone. Yeah… No eww of course not! Don’t worry, I’ll get a ride home. Mmhmm. You all go ahead without me.” A loud deep gurgling sound came from the blob. “Oh that? Nothing. Don’t worry! I’ll call you when I get home, okay? Okay. Good night!”

After she hung up, her phone rang again.

“Are you okay?!” It was the girl from before.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” she chuckled.

“I-I heard screaming…”

“Oh no,” she laughed, “Everything’s fine.”

“A-are you sure?”

“Mhmm, don’t worry. I’m 100% a-okay. Did you make it home okay?”

“I did. Thank you,” the girl sounded like she was nearly in tears.

“You can call me anytime you need someone to talk to,” May ran her hand idly along the blob’s flesh, “Especially when you feel threatened. I’m good at handling that kind of crap.”

“Yeah,” the girl chuckled, “You really are. Thank you, May. I’m Alice, by the way.”

“Alice. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she laughed, “I’m going to head to bed. Are you going to get home safely?”

“Oh absolutely. Don’t worry about me, okay? I’ll be just fine.”

“Okay… Well… Thanks again, May.”

“You’re very welcome, Alice.”

The line went dead. Finally, she was alone with her companion. She squeezed the blob close. It burbled and sloshed as she moved it. She could feel bits and pieces of remains floating around inside of it. She couldn’t help but squeeze it tighter.

“I love you so damn much,” she breathed.

It groaned happily in response.

Letting it go, her blob settled into her lap. She leaned back against the brick wall, her hands caressing it gently. She listened in the silence of the night as her ‘boyfriend’ digested ‘his’ meal. Everything was perfect. The night, as far as May was concerned, had been a complete success. She really didn’t know what she’d do if some asshole didn’t show up, but she knew there’d be one. And she knew she’d be the one to find them.

They rested silently as they admired each other with unspoken love. A girl and her blob. Just as things would always be.

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